My sweet Lilly would have been 5 today. I just have to admit to all of you that I am really sad this year. Grief is a journey, ups and downs, good days, bad days. Now, 5 years later, it seems there will be good years and bad years.
5 is hard for me to swallow. It is when cute little girls become little ladies. They speak differently, play differently, and really begin to grow into who they will become. I know this because God has surrounded me with precious little girls all around Lilly's age. They each mean so much to me and it is a gift getting to watch them grow. Mia is so in love with Bennett, Stella, and Chloe. We pray for them nightly and she can't wait for any opportunity to spend time with them. While Mia may never have a sister here on earth, these girls fill a huge void for all of us!
I don't know what the reasonable time limit is on grief, but I am struggling with that. Will this always be my "story." Will I always have to worry about this day and if I can "hold it together" for these 24 hours. Maybe that is another reason why this year is hard...5 years seems like plenty of time to heal. It might be time for me to admit that this may never completely heal. I will think of Lilly everyday for the rest of my life and I will cry on her birthday, looking at our Christmas card, and on the day she went to be with Jesus every year.
Thank you SO much to all of you who share in this journey with us. Your love is constantly unfailing and I am so humbled by that.
Happy Birthday Sweet Lilly! We love you and celebrate your life on this very special day!