A HOPE deferred makes the heart sick, but a LONGING fulfilled is the tree of LIFE. Prvb 13:12
Welcome to Hope, Longing, Life! I am so glad that you are here! This is a place where I write about all things kids, family, home design, organization, and give a little insight into our journey through grief.
So grab a drink (coffee, wine or diet coke would be my choices) and maybe a few a tissues as I share our story.
Richard and I met in college and had a an immediate connection. You know they "stay on the phone all night" and "laugh until you cry" kind of relationship. There was never a doubt that we would spend the rest of our lives together. We got married soon after graduation, landed jobs in Dallas, bought house, and another puppy. Life was good!
Richard's job hours started to get pretty long, so I went back to school in the evenings to get my Masters degree. Once I had completed that, God put an amazing job right in my lap! I loved it so much! It was for a small health insurance company setting up their health education and wellness programming. I saw it grow from just being me to a department of 20 in just a few short years. Richard and I were both really absorbed in our careers in that season. Without other distractions (like kiddos) it was working for us. Not perfect, but okay.
After 4 years together, we got a surprise when I became pregnant with our first baby. Exciting and terrifying all rolled into one! While I was excited to be a mom, I was determined that life could stay pretty much the same. We bought a house in the city closer to my office and found childcare so that I could juggle all of it.
Baby Lilly was born November 14, 2007 and I was smitten from the first moment I held her. I am sure a lot of you can relate to that overwhelming feeling of love you get when you hold your first baby for the first time. PRICELESS! She was so precious and we fell into our new normal pretty well. For 3 and half months, we juggled baby, jobs, and home without many problems. Then, we received a phone call that changed the course of our lives forever. Baby Lilly passed away at her sitter's house from SIDS.
It was an awful time. Dark and sorrowful. Blurry, but sometimes too vivid all at the same time. God really used that time in our lives to show us what mattered on this earth and what really didn't. We were able to cling to each other as we slowly healed. Our jobs and our things mattered so much less after all of that.
That is where this blog got started. I began to chronicle our grief journey. (I recommend going back to 2008 in the archives to read the full story). As part of our "therapy" we decided to demolish the nursery and turn it into a master suite. I know people thought we were crazy, but we just had to "change the view" a little bit. Through that process, I really found my love of home design and it has been a fun hobby ever since. It seems like God is allowing it to slowly grow into something more...maybe a full time job when my kids are in school. I am waiting on his timing to see where the design business will go!
Since then, we have had two more beautiful children. They are gifts that have brought healing to my heart that I never thought would be possible. I LOVE being a Mom and watching them grow and change everyday. I pray I never take one moment with them for granted. God is GOOD. I truly believe that! I would not change one thing about my story. It is who I am now, and I don't want to be who I was before this journey began.
If you have found this blog because of grief, let me first say how sorry I am. I know it is such a dark time. I hope this blog shows you that their is life on the other side of grief though. There will be a time to laugh again and tears won't flow as often. If you have experienced the loss of a child, the best book I can recommend is Holding onto Hope. Please take some time to read it and let me know if I can help in any other way.
If you have found this blog because of home design, welcome! Take some time to explore the tabs to see our home and some of my design work. Please come back anytime!